Monolingual is a program for removing unnecessary language resources from Mac OS X, in order to reclaim several hundred megabytes of disk space. I don't know about you, but I use my computer in. Some became 'subtractive bilinguals', moving from an ability to use two languages to monolingualism.This often becomes a source of regret, as people realise later in life that they have missed out on access to another language and culture that could connect them with wider family and their culture of origin. Definition of monolingual written for English Language Learners from the Merriam-Webster Learner's Dictionary with audio pronunciations, usage examples, and count/noncount noun labels. Definition of monolingual adjective in Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary. Meaning, pronunciation, picture, example sentences, grammar, usage notes, synonyms and more. We use cookies to enhance your experience on our website, including to provide targeted advertising and track usage.

My mom was an ESL teacher — English as a second language. Wait, there’s more languages than English? In a world of innate Anglophiles, English obviously dominates from the smallest and most useless instruction packets to the Internet to being an official language of decent sized countries.

However, there are those awkward presences of bilingualism. The alien human beings who possess a most unusual and highly unnecessary skill of speaking English and another — unneeded — language.

Being a gifted monolinguist,

I can accurately confirm the benefits of being a monolingual:

1. You’re blunt. Want to crudely remark or humorously comment on someone as they pass by? A monolingual can; even better, the victim can understand and proceed to appreciate the blunt honesty. In opposition, a bilingual speaker’s chances of being appreciated for insightful statements decrease by roughly 50 percent, thus making them roughly 50 percent less happy than a monolingual speaker.
2. You have more free time. A monolingual struts into a high-class job interview at a snazzy, high paying company with glass architecture and fancy coffee machines. The competition is fierce between the two qualified finalists: a blunt monolingual and the bilingual. The bilingual receives the job and begins a beautiful career; unfortunately for the bilingual, this equates to endless days of six-figure salaries, small talk and networking, packaged benefits, and a full-time career. Luckily, the monolingual now has an ample amount of free time to fulfill their endless aspirations.
3. You learn more while abroad. With boundless energy from midday naps and infinite free time, one of a monolingual’s dreams may be to travel abroad. Naïve, innocent, or ignorant to non-English speaking places, the monolingual possesses the opportunity to become an adventurer of the New World during their unemployed, midlife; an opportunity unfortunately unavailable to a bilingual who already acknowledged the world beyond English from a young age — an adventurer, they are not.
4. You trust translation. Foreign entertainment’s closed captioning and subtitles are always correct for the monolingual — who has the free time to enjoy such things. To be determined by a scientific study: monolingual speakers develop strong trust toward the blurbs of English words at the bottom of screens. “Quand? J’ai dit” is, in fact, “Con? Jay Z” because that makes sense. Of course, an MC will introduce Super Junior as Sipping Tea; no, it’s not the auto-generated, English closed captioning. In essence, a bilingual may develop trust issues with translated works, another problem the trusting and fortunate monolingual will never encounter.
5. You get the free lollipops at the doctor’soffice. At the end of a long, adventurous, freeing, entertained life, the monolingual receives one more benefit over the bilingual: frequent visits to the doctor. Why? Because monolingual speakers enjoy the statistical evidence of being more susceptible to Alzheimer’s symptoms. A final, unfortunate event — lollipops — the bilingual cannot experience. Free lollipops outweigh losing the memory of precious free time; free time that allowed gratitude from strangers, exploring the exotic wilderness of Quebec, and mindlessly reading the subtitles of Korean dramas instead of the actual dramas.

Sincerely,

Monolingual

The Obnoxiously Bitter Monolingual